meretal

grey in excess | musing

In musing on 5 April 2011 at 4:51 pm

Growing up means giant grey areas.

(Ryan O’Connell, from “A Recipe for Growing Up”)

Mostly, I am scared to death of growing up. I’ve lived my whole life in the shadow of my independence–thinking I was independent. But as I’m counting down the days to when I really have to make the big decisions, it’s turning out to be less settling than I had hoped.

It’s basically chaos, over-analyzing all the ways that I could make the right and wrong decisions. It doesn’t come down to toothpaste, to there being too many options on the aisle; it’s big life goals, one as ambiguous as the next.

It’s looming–haunting–but it’s exciting too. Exciting knowing that either way I go, I can’t really go wrong. Either way I look at it, doors will open, and lead down a path. The path makes its own way through the grey; I doubt I’m going to pitfall to the third circle just yet.

So I’ve accepted it. Take a deep breath, look forward, and march on to your decisions; or hold off making them as long as possible.

The good thing about the grey areas is that they’re really big, which means that there are loads of options of how to meander.

 

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